Dane Cook is the Man!

Dane Cook is one of my favorite comedians these days, and the other night he got to kiss Charlize Theron's ass, which I find freaking hilarious.


That is all.

Beware the Monkey Repo Man

I just found Lycos' new MySpace-style Angelfire incarnation called Planet. This is pretty much lame. They have "surfaces" that are basically just themes that you have to rent for tokens, that I'm assuming you have to pay for when your initial 50 run out. I picked one with mokeys all over it. I guess if I don't pay the monkey rent, then the monkey repo men are going to get me. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten the monkeys in the first place.

My New Hero

Throughout my 27 years on Earth, somehow I managed to miss Kurt Vonnegut, until now. I cannot remember what compelled me to add Slaughterhouse-Five to my Netflix queue, but now that I've seen it, I've been thrust into the intriguing universe of this great mind, literary and otherwise. This guy has seen a lot in his time on earth. He survived the firebombing of Dresden. Since most Americans don't have a clue, let me put this into perspective: Dresden was obliterated by a bomb-induced firestorm that surpassed Hiroshima in power, killing an estimated 130,000 people in a city that contained little in the way of military industry or warfighting ability. Mr. Vonnegut was there as a POW, and survived.

I have only begun to delve into his books, but I intend to read them all. I only wish I could meet and have a conversation with Mr. Vonnegut before he's gone, because in my estimation he's one of the greatest minds of our time.

Another thing I admire him for is his recent remarks on Real Time with Bill Maher and The Daily Show regarding W. To hear our idiot president get verbally bashed by such a great mind is almost too much. As great as it made me feel, I also felt that Vonnegut's words were being wasted on a truly worthless individual. However, since the man is president, I guess they are words that must be expended.

Where is life taking me?

I'll warn you now. This post isn't really going anywhere at all. I'm just laying here, pondering my life these days, and thinking about how different it is from what I had imagined 10 years ago.

What was I doing 10 years ago? Working at Six Flags over Georgia, operating rides (still my favorite job ever.) Things were much simpler then, I miss it. All I had to do was go to school and work. On the surface, it sounds like life today. Work and school. The funny thing though, is that it's complete reversed. Back then, I loved work, and abhored school. Now, I hate my job passionately, and only wish I could quit, while I LOVE school. If there's one thing good that has come out of my tenure in the Air Force, it would be that I have a new appreciation for academia. I am an intelligent person, capable of thinking for myself, and doing great things with my mind. The military is only interested in exploiting the skills they need, and supressing the rest of me in order to keep me subserviant. That's why I'm so eager to get to school. There, I'm a thinker again.

How the hell did I end up in this situation? How did someone so anti-authority end up signing away his rights in the military (and then re-enlisting)?

Stupidity or desperation, I guess...

Cronyism at its finest

I am in awe. Complete and total awe. It is as if W can read my mind, and is intentionally trying to outdo himself in regards to my amazement at his complete disregard for everything I value in this country. After nominating that idiot Roberts to lead the highest court in all the land, skipping over seasoned justices that might actually have a fucking clue, now W nominates who? That's the question I think everyone is asking: Who the fuck is this bitch?

Well from what I can tell, she's not only completely unqualified to sit on the Supreme Court, but she's also another evangelical right-wing headcase. Bush really needs to make new friends.

News flash Bush: Not everyone in this country goes home at night and thumps a Bible!

Speaking for myself, I'm more interested in going home at the end of the day and thinking, "Wow, I live in a country where I'm free to do and think what I want." Bush stands for nothing except suppression of everything that doesn't mesh with his plan: the permanent rise to power of the wealthy, ideological bourgeoisie. Bush has done more damage to the fabric of this nation than a salvo of nuclear warheads, a whole army of jihadists, and mother nature in all her fury could do in concert. The end result of this nation's faulty decision to allow Bush to take control of the government (note my wording there, as he didn't legally win either election) is that we have surrendered all our civil liberties, and allowed the Bush virus to insert long-lasting genetic code (Roberts) into our system. What does this mean? America now has the political equivalent of AIDS. Talk about getting fucked!

I swear, Life is fucking with me!

Maybe you can identify with this situation. If not, just pretend. This is some good shit (if you get a kick out of those times in life where you just have to take a step back and say GODDAMN!) Anyway, let's get started.

Ever since I got started at my current job, I have been responsible for a weekly task. This task requires collaboration with my co-workers, which has been invariably like pulling fucking teeth. The entire process was a pain in my ass, and I have questioned the value of the entire ordeal since the very beginning. I also tried many times to make improvements that would make it less of an ordeal, and I was shot down every time. So, I chugged along, dreading it more and more as time went on.

Now that my time is nearly up and I'm preparing to move on, the task has been given to someone else. Now here's where the shit gets good. WAKE UP. This is the meat and potatoes.

Now that the task is no longer mine, a plethora of rules were tacked on to make this task extremely simple for the guy that's taking it over. You know what I'm thinking?

WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK????

Of all the forces of nature out there, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, the cruelest and least understood would have to be Life. Sure, Life can be good, but so can the weather. And as luck would have it, when it comes to Life, I live in Tornado Alley.